05/12/08 - Government Approves 'Unemployed' as Job Description
by The Mogambo Guru "Maybe this 'recession' thing is why the Labor Department reported that the U.S. lost another 20,000 jobs in April. In fact, the economy has shed 260,000 jobs since New Year's Day!" 05/09/08 - Stranger than Fictional Balance Sheets
by The Mogambo Guru "I am curious as to what 'lowering assumptions' means to these S&P people, as I have recently been told by my family that they have 'lowered' their assumptions again, too, and that they now collectively assume that I have hit bottom…" 05/08/08 - The REAL Reason Everything Costs So Much
by The Mogambo Guru "So where is that other $49 billion, if they borrowed it but did not add it to reserves? Who the hell knows? Gaaahh! My head is spinning! I cannot even understand this new corrupt crap anymore!" 05/07/08 - A Fear of Falling Fed Credit
by The Mogambo Guru "As I was contemplating how my blood got suddenly colder, I was taking a long pull from a bottle of really cheap tequila to try and calm my ragged nerves about this lack of additional TFC thing." 05/06/08 - Higher Prices for Smaller Portions
by The Mogambo Guru "The result is that the price of packaged food is going up by more than the rise in the underlying commodities would suggest, which (according to government statistics) is at least 20% in the last year, and often much, much more." 05/05/08 - The Magic of 'Product Substitution'
by The Mogambo Guru "It is this last fraud that has been used to such success by Mogambo Inter-Planetary Industries (MIPI), by which we commit an as-yet legalized extortion by utilizing the word 'improved'." 05/02/08 - Gold Price Suppression Scheme
by The Mogambo Guru "And as to the notion that the Fed has sold half of our nation's gold, I think that is being generous as hell, as I see no reason why the Fed would stop at only half…" 05/01/08 - The Velocity of Floral Inflation
by The Mogambo Guru "But after all of this, you suddenly realize that the money that was taxed away comes roaring back into the economy as government spending, making a mockery of the whole thing, and then there is inflation to consider…" 04/30/08 - Trainee Makes Bank Bosses Look Stupid
by The Mogambo Guru "You can see how I am despondent and angry that I am the one who is wearing a stupid nametag that says 'Trainee' and getting hot grease spattered all over me, while they make the big money by being so freaking wrong!" 04/29/08 - At the Center of a Snowball of Debt
by The Mogambo Guru "Total debt everywhere, like Old Man River, just keeps rolling along, like a snowball rolling downhill, getting bigger and bigger, which is such a strange mix of metaphors that I realize that I am completely confused and frightened." 04/28/08 - Fried in the Financial Sun
by The Mogambo Guru "By how much is the Libor lending rate understated? Maybe as much as 0.3%, which doesn't sound like that much, but when you are talking about trillions and trillions of pounds and euros of debt, it adds up to a lot of money!" 04/25/08 - Shocking the Food Right Out of Your Mouth
by The Mogambo Guru "This is the basis of the new Mogambo Diet Plan (MDP), and you can see how that kind of 'kiss your own nasty butt goodbye because you are going to die' news, delivered in a constant, shrill, high-decibel voice would make you lose weight!" 04/24/08 - Funding the Food Price Fiasco
by The Mogambo Guru "The IMF, glorying as ever in its failures, just like the Federal Reserve, now promotes the laughable idea to 'tackle' rising food prices by having donor economies give other people money to pay higher food prices! Hahaha!" 04/23/08 - Magical Money from Thin Air
by The Mogambo Guru "This TFC-not-expanding thing is Bad, Bad News (BBN) because this is the stuff that the Federal Reserve creates at their whim, which causes credit to appear on the books of the banks, which turns into money when someone takes out a loan at a bank." 04/22/08 - 8 Million Golden Reasons
by The Mogambo Guru "A lot of people have a lot of theories as to why gold is going down, when the theory and the entire history of economic mankind say it should be going up, and most of them are right, to one degree or another, as there are as many reasons for acting as there are actors, and there are eight million stories in the naked city." 04/21/08 - Disproportionate Derivatives
by The Mogambo Guru "The total value of the existing global gargantuan globular glut of derivatives is estimated to be more than $700 trillion! Compare this stupefying fact to the associated fact that global GDP is only about a lousy $50 trillion!" 04/18/08 - Inflation of the Third Kind
by The Mogambo Guru "My God! This is all inflation news that is beyond terrible, but it seems so much less than that after the 73% rate of crude goods! But the reality is that we're freaking doomed, whether it seems like it or not!" 04/17/08 - Heart Attacks and Tax Codes
by The Mogambo Guru "Already beset by demons of my deteriorating mental and cardiac capacity, the idea that the capital gains tax was already 5% and I hadn't even noticed had me in a panic! What else wasn't I aware of? I shuddered to think!" 04/16/08 - The Monetarist School of Economic Assassins
by The Mogambo Guru "On a stand-still basis for foreign exporters, we would have to pay prices that are 20% higher for our imports, just for them to break even when converting dollars back into their native currencies! Hahaha! We pay more for things! Welcome to the hell of a falling currency!" 04/15/08 - Melting a Grammy for the Gold
by The Mogambo Guru "I hope you have a good grip on your hat because it is going to fly up off of your freaking head when I tell you that right now the S&P500 is sporting a P/E of 21, and the freaking Dow is so overly-valued that it is selling at a P/E of 53!" 04/14/08 - Cursing the Loss of Purchasing Power
by The Mogambo Guru "This amazing phenomenon proves either that the government's Plunge Protection Team exists and is massively operating to intervene in the markets, or that people are truly idiots. Or maybe delightful little fairies guard our dreams and protect us in life!" 04/11/08 - Government Spending Burns the Toast
by The Mogambo Guru "This same bankrupt America is getting ready to send out $160 billion in 'economic stimulus' checks, where the government is literally giving people free money even though the government is borrowing like crazy just to keep afloat, which means that we that are truly, truly toast." 04/10/08 - Not-So-Quiet Food Riots
by The Mogambo Guru "And worse yet for us alcohol-besotted worthless lushes out here, heroically keeping bartenders and comely barmaids gainfully employed year around, the price of hops, an integral ingredient in beer making, has soared from $4 a pound to $40." 04/09/08 - Perched on an Economic Fault Line
by The Mogambo Guru "If Saudi Arabia and the other Gulf states end up cutting their ties to the dollar, secure in the knowledge their petro-economies would emerge stronger from the upheaval, the process might well have begun in the summer of last year - when Dick Cheney tried to line up Arab support for an attack on Iran." 04/08/08 - Trillions Embarrass a Billion-Dollar Bulwark
by The Mogambo Guru "Half of the Fed's stash of government debt has been used up already! Yikes! And how big is the entire rest of the Fed's stash of government securities? A piddly $629 billion! Hahaha!" 04/07/08 - The Government Genie Flips a Coin
by The Mogambo Guru "If you think that a negative lease rate for gold is weird… You are a winner! You have won the chance to choose between the two Mogambo Doors Of Mystery (MDOM) and claim the fabulous prize that is waiting there for you!" 04/04/08 - A Crude Source of Welfare
by The Mogambo Guru "In short, apparently these countries need the price of oil to stay high to pay for their welfare expenses…which means that they will necessarily be raising oil prices again pretty soon…" 04/03/08 - Another Bar of Golden Idiots
by The Mogambo Guru "Well, then, you're an idiot, Frank! A big, stupid moron! In fact, all you stupid people in this bar are stupid, because you all think that you are not going to be destroyed by the fires of an inflationary hell…" 04/02/08 - Insane Economic News of the Day
by The Mogambo Guru "And as more Insane Economic News Of The Day (IENOTD), the Fed's personal stash of U.S. government debt is down another gigantic $48 billion last week! $48 billion! In one week! One freaking week!" 04/01/08 - Financial Humor isn't Funny
by The Mogambo Guru "Mr. Dunkelberg is more direct, and says that people who depend on their little bits of interest that they make on their saved money (like the elderly) 'are being screwed by the Fed'" 03/31/08 - The Voyages of the Economic Enterprise
by The Mogambo Guru "Computer, research the economic history of the planet Earth and all the planets in this galaxy, and find any instance of a healthy economic boom that started after 'the biggest orgy of speculation and debt creation' the planet had ever seen!" 03/28/08 - Kids Go to Gold Camp
by The Mogambo Guru "How in the hell can the global glut of derivatives be 37 times as big as total, global GDP? Hell, just a yield of 0.1%, a tenth of a percent, would mean that $516 billion would be needed just to annually service the debt of that $516 trillion! Hahahaha!" 03/27/08 - The Great Silver Sell Out Caper
by The Mogambo Guru "I know that you think it is such a bargain that you cannot resist, and so I urge you to hurry, hurry, hurry to the Mogambo Silver Storage Service (MSSS), where our motto is, 'Send us the money, then we'll talk.'" 03/26/08 - Ingesting the Polluted Ocean of Commerce
by The Mogambo Guru "Now get this: Total reserves are $43 billion (about the same as it has been for more than a decade!), and out of that total, $17 billion of it is borrowed from the Fed! Hahahaha! We are so freaking doomed!" 03/25/08 - Inflationary Economy Causes Massive Coronary
by The Mogambo Guru "I am frantically pantomiming 'dialing the telephone' with the little mobility I have in my right arm, trying to get someone to call 911 to get me a little medical attention, and maybe save my life from the heart attack caused by such terrible news about inflation." 03/24/08 - Risk Management Addiction
by The Mogambo Guru "I sat the kids down and told them that gambling with every dime I can squeeze out of anything is not 'gambling' anymore; it is 'risk management', and it is now obvious that I am a modern kind of guy seeking to 'maximize risk-adjusted rates of return'!" 03/21/08 - Sadly Repeating Economic History
by The Mogambo Guru "And even if you COULD pay off everyone's debts, to have another boom with the existing structure left intact would require the same degree of economic stupidity all over again! And nobody is that stupid. Are they?" 03/20/08 - Golden Codpiece Protection Strategy
by The Mogambo Guru "I was going to unveil the new product from Mogambo Dubious Enterprises (MDE), which was a codpiece for men, made from ingots of pure gold, which makes wealth not only portable, but also protective in so many other important ways…" 03/19/08 - A Bunch of Government Gobbledy-Gook
by The Mogambo Guru "I am happy to report that Mr. Williams kindly does respond to requests from subscribers, and is now introducing the SGS-Alternate Unemployment Rate, which sounds like a bunch of government gobbledy-gook, which it actually is…" 03/18/08 - Stepping Up the Spending Surveillance
by The Mogambo Guru "I note with alarm that with the index at 1293, everybody who bought the stocks of this index since the third quarter of 2006 has lost money! Hahaha! Nice investing, dudes!" 03/17/08 - Borrowing to Get a Better Bargain
by The Mogambo Guru "And what percent of each class felt like they were so far in debt that 'they will never be able to get out'? Oops! Low income: 25 percent. Middle income: 14 percent. Upper income: 10 percent!" 03/14/08 - Bad News for Tax Revenues
by The Mogambo Guru "Losses on this kind of scale are the worst kind of bad news for tax revenues and those governments and recipients who depend on tax revenues, which rhymes so well that I am going to turn it into a Mogambo Hit Song (MHS)…" 03/13/08 - The Dinosaur Gold-Standard Economy
by The Mogambo Gugu "The dinosaurs had a monetary system based on gold, which explains why the historical record shows absolutely no inflation in prices during the entire Jurassic period, and anyone who says otherwise is a lying bag of crap." 03/12/08 - In Phony-Baloney Money We Trust?
by The Mogambo Guru "And the good news is that CD buyers are looking downright intelligent compared to the morons buying two-year notes, which have been bid up so high that they are nominally yielding less than 1.5%!" 03/11/08 - Golden Lifeboats Flee the Titanic
by The Mogambo Guru "Gold is essentially a rock! So why is it so valuable? Why do people always turn to gold at the end? The answer is that there is nothing else to take its place as a store of wealth that does not rot, corrode or disappear…" 03/10/08 - Bernanke Gets it Backwards
by The Mogambo Guru "The rise in retail prices is caused by…the Federal Reserve creating excessive amounts of money and credit. High prices, therefore, are the RESULT of the ridiculous excesses of the Federal Reserve, not the cause." 03/07/08 - An Apple a Day Will Kill You
by The Mogambo Guru "An apple a day may keep the doctor away, as the saying goes, but you had better not say that anymore, either, because Big Pharma has yet to invent a drug that emulates apples, either!" 03/06/08 - "It Makes Your Money Worthless - Guaranteed!"
by The Mogambo Guru "There is no known example, in the history of the world, where a fiat currency was debased in a wild fractional-reserve multiplication by the greedy banks that did NOT end badly. And 100% of the time is as close as you can get to 'guaranteed'." 03/05/08 - Drunk With Absolute Purchasing Power
by The Mogambo Guru "So if people could buy oil with gold, the price would have been unchanged for 60 years! Wow! Now you see the beauty of gold as money; prices never change! Your purchasing power is absolute!" 03/04/08 - Gold Explosion in a Precious Metal Mine Field
by The Mogambo Guru "With an M3 money supply of about $12 trillion, this means that if gold rose to $46,153.00 per ounce, the entire money supply could be 100% backed by gold! We'd get back to the gold standard required by the Constitution!" 03/03/08 - A World Without Demand
by The Mogambo Guru "Oops! Without demand, supply overwhelms supply, and prices plummet, and without new derivative sales to finance the existing clot of derivatives, things go from bad to worse!" 02/29/08 - The Inevitable Doom of Inflation Targeting
by The Mogambo Guru "But price increases of such magnitude that they have never been seen before? And in the food business, which means that prices for food will rise faster (and probably higher) than at any time in history? Yikes!" 02/28/08 - Heads I Win, Tails I Break Even
by The Mogambo Guru "And the borrowers just saw a chance to benefit by the bank's stupidity, and they borrowed the money on the 'heads I win, tails I break even' chance that they could later sell at a profit or walk away." 02/27/08 - TFC Goes Down on the Upside
by The Mogambo Guru "But if TFC was plotted out on this mysterious logarithmic paper, the line on the graph would be sloping down, even though the line on the familiar linear graph of TFC would still be going up!" 02/26/08 - The Euro Only Commits Misdemeanors
by The Mogambo Guru "'Only' 15.6% inflation in prices! It's like your stupid children getting arrested, and they brag all the way home about how they haven't ever been charged with a felony, only misdemeanors, while their friends have all done hard time!" 02/25/08 - Nearly Perfect Data
by The Mogambo Guru "And for a little perspective, that $3.594 trillion in additional debt means that, at even 5% interest, the government is now paying out $180 billion a year, just in the additional interest payments on just this additional debt…" 02/22/08 - Economic Miseries Measured by the Second
by The Mogambo Guru "And if you wonder exactly what I mean by 'doomed', I will demonstrate by telling you that the video I am offering you is priced $499.99 today, but it will be $699.99 next year. You figure it out." 02/21/08 - 401-Keg Plan Matures in Britain
by The Mogambo Guru "Then I recall that the average retirement plan in America, like a 401(k), has somewhere between $25,000 and $60,000 in it, and I wonder how long that would last if one lousy chicken cost $15 million. Hahahaha!" 02/20/08 - Learning How to Spell "Inflationary Depression"
by The Mogambo Guru "Of course, now that actual reserves in the banks are (unbelievably) no longer required, financial corruption in the banks has now reached its zenith, as the banks are now totally free to create as much money as Ben Bernanke will let them…" 02/19/08 - "Everybody Hurts" - Inflation's Theme Song
by The Mogambo Guru "The apparently salubrious result is that the money is created out of thin air, and nobody has so much as a dime taken away from them, dorkface! In fact, everybody involved has the same or more money!" 02/18/08 - The Happy Mogambo Retirement Fund
by The Mogambo Guru "They only want to talk about how they found out that the 0.5% deduction in their paychecks for HMRF is actually the Happy Mogambo Retirement Fund (HMRF), which means that I am taking money out of their paychecks for my own use." 02/15/08 - The Deadly Quicksand of Deficit Spending
by The Mogambo Guru "It is then that the movie turns into a farce, as Ms. Pelosi is crying out, 'Quick! Give him some more money!' Hahahaha! Nice work, Ms. Pelosi! Groucho Marx would have been proud of us both!" 02/14/08 - Prehistoric Problems With Fiat Currency
by The Mogambo Guru "And it is made absolutely terrifying when you learn that all of the money that has been lost is, amazingly, borrowed and is still owed! Hahaha! This is the downside of having an economic system where debt creates money! Hahaha!" 02/13/08 - Saddled by Electronic Pixie Dust
by The Mogambo Guru "And it doesn't take a real genius to see that higher costs for producers means they will have to charge higher prices, which means that when Brits buy something from now on, they will pay higher prices." 02/12/08 - Trillion Dollar Bush
by The Mogambo Guru "For me, it's all about the money and how all of this spending will be accomplished by a brain-dead Federal Reserve creating the money out of thin air so that the government can borrow it, and how all of this money will drive the national debt up more…" 02/11/08 - Oil Crisis Rush Hour
by The Mogambo Guru "The dollar going down in purchasing power, which is the same as an increase in prices, has cost them 13% in one year, all thanks to the despicable Federal Reserve creating all that money and credit, so that the government could borrow it and spend it…" 02/08/08 - Enough of this Economic Claptrap
by The Mogambo Guru "Enough of this econometric claptrap crap! Lowering interest rates may send the stock of Mogambo Global Enterprises up, but the management (me) is still the same stupid embezzling halfwit who continually has us on the brink of disaster!" 02/07/08 - The Fresh But Ephemeral Hell of the U.S. Economy
by The Mogambo Guru "Not only have bank reserves not gone up in 10 years by so much as a dime, but the Treasury bonds that the Fed bought, by creating the money to buy them, are also disappearing! As Dorothy Parker so famously said, 'What fresh hell is this?'" 02/06/08 - The Mogambo 'Big Budget' Movie Review
by The Mogambo Guru "Well, he couldn't be more right about us spending ourselves to death, as the national debt is actually $9.1 trillion, already grown by $500 billion since he was interviewed for a movie so new that it just premiered! Hahaha!" 02/05/08 - Golden Prices from Decreased Production
by The Mogambo Guru "Ergo, the price of gold must equilibrate lower supply versus higher demand at a higher price! To those who own gold, or plan to own gold before things get kicked into high gear, this means, 'Wheee!…'" 02/04/08 - Freaking Doomed by Doubling Power
by The Mogambo Guru "Hoping that they were wrong, because this rate of inflation would be horrendous, I went to Mr. William's ShadowStats.com to find, sure enough, that inflation has taken a sudden spike to 12%, with no sign of stopping! Yikes!" 02/01/08 - A Million Millions
by The Mogambo Guru "The shock of the exclamation points, coupled with the revelation that the total losses are going to be at least 10 times as big as estimates project, temporarily revived me by jolting me into a Mindless Mogambo Episode Of Anger And Outrage (MMEOAAO)…" 01/31/08 - Candy Vs. Currency: A Debat on Value
by The Mogambo Guru "Hershey, 'the world's largest candy maker', has to raise its prices on a third of its chocolate candy by 13% because of the soaring prices of energy, milk and cocoa. And they are going to raise prices by 3% over Hershey's entire U.S. product line!" 01/30/08 - The Tragic Tale of the Last Fool in Line
by The Mogambo Guru "And the last guy, who may be otherwise known as the Last Fool In Line who bought at the exact top at the exact highest price, still has to find somebody to sell to at a profit, or the system goes into loss mode." 01/29/08 - An Indication the Economy is Lagging
by The Mogambo Guru "And, worse, the Lagging Indicator has been outdistancing both the Leading and Coincident indicators for months and months, too, indicating that costs are going up. And they were. And they are. And they will continue to do so." 01/28/08 - Bernanke's Magic Money Button
by The Mogambo Guru "Fortunately, I was heavily sedated and in a straightjacket at the time, tied to a chair as the minimum precautions to watching Federal Reserve chairmen appearing in public, especially in front of one clueless Congressional bunch of yahoos or another." 01/25/08 - Keynesian Quackery
by The Mogambo Guru "And now some piddly $150 billion is going to make a big difference in preventing the overdue bust at the end of the biggest boom the world has ever seen? Hahahaha! Stop! I'm laughing so hard my stomach hurts! Hahahaha! Stop! Stop! Hahahaha!" 01/24/08 - The Bank Robbing Effect of Financial Desperation
by The Mogambo Guru "The point is that not only is bank robbing 40% more popular by 40% than last year, but the FBI used to solve 75% of bank robberies in 2003, but only about half now." 01/23/08 - A Piddly $4.4 Billion 'Drop in the Bucket'
by The Mogambo Guru "OF COURSE $4.4 billion is not enough! The economic system and the players in it have to absorb trillions of dollars of current and future losses! A piddly $4.4 billion? Hahahaha! Talk about your proverbial 'drop in the bucket'! Hahaha!" 01/22/08 - Avoiding Reponsibility
by The Mogambo Guru "And let's not forget that this lying lowlife loser, St. Louis Federal Reserve President William Poole, is a guy about whom Marketwatch.com reports, 'Last year, he voted in favor of all the FOMC's rate cuts'! Hahaha! What a creepy little worm!" 01/21/08 - Oil Battles Gold for Investment Supremacy
by The Mogambo Guru "Naturally, even a bonehead like me knows that a one percent chance is not very good, and I saw that my chances of him coming across with that cool thousand bucks was now slipping away." 01/18/08 - The Golden Commodity Compass
by The Mogambo Guru "You will be glad to know that we have given up slaughtering American natives, although we keep our skills up by killing thousands of natives in OTHER countries, but we don't do it for gold. Nowadays, we do it for money and oil." 01/17/08 - The Futility of the Economic Weatherman
by The Mogambo Guru "Federal Reserve chairman Ben Bernanke has no such qualms about shame, and said he is ready to take "substantive additional action", which the media and markets took as saying, 'Rates are going down, dudes!'" 01/16/08 - Let Gold Yell For You
by The Mogambo Guru "And what the chart shows, but nobody is saying, is that it wasn't until 1960 that the Dow high, again rose high enough to equal the very peak in 1929. 'Investing for the long term'! Hahaha!" 01/15/08 - Stealing Metaphors for Excess Money
by The Mogambo Guru "So, if inflation in prices is not caused by a depreciating dollar or monetary policy, then Mr. Central Bank Governor Sultan Bin Nasser al-Suwaidi better find out what in the hell is causing it, and pronto!" 01/14/08 - Free Money to the Rescue
by The Mogambo Guru "And when that government check hits my mailbox, brother, I'll show you exactly how giving people free money stimulates spending! Whee! Insanity in economics is fun! And it will be ironically profitable if you use the money to buy gold! Whee!" 01/11/08 - Gold in the Time of Economic Cholera
by The Mogambo Guru "As a pedagogical aside, the use of the rare "double exclamation point", indicating extreme importance and used to appropriately punctuate the horror of 50.1% annual inflation in food, is considered (in some circles) to be redundant." 01/10/08 - Incredible Inedible Ethanol
by The Mogambo Guru "An entire third of the grain output of the American farm system will disappear from the world's food supply? On top of the terrifying increases in prices we are already seeing? Yow! We are totally, totally, totally freaking screwed!" 01/09/08 - Free Money is Surprisingly Popular
by The Mogambo Guru "Not surprisingly, 'The Fed announcement indicated that the auction process it began last month has been successful in providing a source of loans for cash-strapped banks.' Hahaha! Free money is popular? Hahaha! Who knew? Hahaha! Popular?" 01/08/08 - "Will Work for Taxes"
by The Mogambo Guru "Instead of the town saying, 'Oh, my God! What kind of ravenous vampires have we become?' and lowering their…damned taxes, 'The town is pushing a program that would let seniors work part-time…to help pay off some of their property taxes.'" 01/07/08 - The Cornered Rat Defense of Inflationary Collapse
by The Mogambo Guru "You gotta admit; it seems to be a compelling argument; the money supply will fall as loans go bad, which means consumer prices will fall. And with loans going bad, nobody is going to either make a loan or take one, and so the money supply will not grow." 01/04/08 - The Increase of Deadweight Losses
by The Mogambo Guru "The beauty of a gold-as-money economic system is that inflation in prices is all but impossible under a gold standard under normal conditions with a restrained banking system, and…ruinous inflation is inevitable under a fiat currency standard." 01/03/08 - Solid Gold Silver Surge
by The Mogambo Guru "And if you think that silver could go to its rough 15-to-1 long-term ratio to gold, then a $1,200 per ounce gold price would mean an $80 per ounce silver! Wow! The stuff is selling for 15 bucks right now!" 01/02/08 - Well Worth the 20 Bucks
by The Mogambo Guru "Now you know just a teensy, weensy part of the reason why the Fed is creating so much money and credit; they have to, just to pay the interest on the debt! All of which will turn into, I am sorry to say, inflation in prices." 12/31/07 - Paying More for Less Beer
by The Mogambo Guru "And don't look at me with that incredulous look on your face! I mean, the average stockholder and the average bondholder have been continuously losing money for years and years! They don't raise a stink because they don't know it…" 12/28/07 - The Santa Cigarettes Caper
by The Mogambo Guru "Naturally, I want to know if Mr. LaRouche smokes or not, and maybe get an ally in this issue I call The Santa Cigarettes Caper, someone to watch my back against my wife and the stupid kids…" 12/27/07 - Gold Obsession Based on Money Creation
by The Mogambo Guru "And an epic scale in the creation of money and credit…means inflation in consumer prices of an equally epic scale!…That is why I am so freaked out, and why I am always saying, 'We're freaking doomed!' and why I am obsessed with guns and gold…" 12/26/07 - Optimism in the Face of Inflation
by The Mogambo Guru "…everyone is in apparent agreement that…like heroic armored knights on horseback saving damsels in distress by slaying dragons, the central banks must arrange irresponsible, insane infusions of infinite credit and money!" 12/21/07 - Cashiers Responsible for Inflation
by The Mogambo Guru "I paused and waited for her to think I was done yelling. She tentatively swept a can of creamed corn over the scanner, the buzzer went 'beep', and I could see her relax as she worked her way back into the routine. That's when I pounced!" 12/20/07 - Consuming Less Confident Food Prices
by The Mogambo Guru "Well, the kids didn't like that news any better when it comes from official government sources, but at least they weren't rolling their eyes and making rude remarks about what a crappy father I am, which was nice for a change!" 12/19/07 - To Negative Infinity - And Beyond
by The Mogambo Guru "In short, the banks loaned every additional dime of the trillions of dollars that they took in! And then more on top of that! No additional reserves at all! Not a freaking additional dime of reserves has been added in a decade or more!" 12/18/07 - Economics Ain't Pretty
by The Mogambo Guru "Anyway, prices going up is why it looks like factory orders increased, and is the reason why I am gagging up blood, and if any of it gets on your shoes, don't come running to me because I never said that economics was pretty." 12/17/07 - Fictitious Beneficial Inflation
by The Mogambo Guru "Let me get this straight; grumpy Russians, in the midst of a gloomy winter, are experiencing inflation in food prices of 1.2% in a month? And prices are up 10% in the last 49 weeks, meaning that prices are still rising like a rocket? Yikes!" 12/14/07 - The Thin Mogambo
by The Mogambo Guru "But the reality is that that this magnificent 600% return was over the last seven years, and the Lipper Mutual Fund Performance Index now has gold-oriented funds being up 23% this year alone!" 12/13/07 - An Economic Law of Physics
by The Mogambo Guru "So I am looking at this Big, Big Problem (BBP)…when I was saved by a little-known Law Of Physics: 'If at any time you find yourself doing a transfinite amount of work, the answer can be obtained by inspection.' 12/12/07 - Debt Crushes the Earth
by The Mogambo Guru "But that 'the Earth will be destroyed' is still a good bet, as the staggering incompetence of the Federal Reserve created the crushing debt that is owed by every economic entity in the whole country, dozens of times over." 12/11/07 - Living the Nightmare of Hamiltonian Economics
by The Mogambo Guru "We have finally overruled the Jeffersonian Republic that made America into the world power that it became, in favor of that Hamiltonian nightmare of a huge, powerful, dictatorial, fascist federal government…" 12/10/07 - Subprimed to Lose Lots of Money
by The Mogambo Guru "So, after the last of the money is finally spent on taxes, that $6.6 billion reduction in tax revenue actually means somewhere between five and eight times as much will be 'lost income' and lost taxes!" 12/07/07 - Weak Dollar Induces a Dream World
by The Mogambo Guru "Hahaha! The Cold, Cruel Laughter Of The Mogambo (CCLOTM) is mocking and scornful at the stupidity of people still buying into that stupid 'buy and hold', 'investing for the long term' crap! Hahaha!" 12/06/07 - Bulls for Bullion
by The Mogambo Guru "If you want something else to show you that people are starting to get smart about owning gold and how this new demand is overwhelming the manipulation of gold by the Fed and the bullion banks, then a report from GATA.org is just the thing you need." 12/05/07 - Lost in the Wage-Price Spiral
by The Mogambo Guru "So what is the next step in a wage-price spiral? 'The country's 1.3 million-member civil-servants union has announced that it will look for a pay raise of 6% to 7% in 2008.' Hahahaha! Here we go again!" 12/04/07 - The Shock of a Thousand Trillions
by The Mogambo Guru "So imagine my horror when I learned that there was no error! We are talking about a quadrillion freaking dollars! Instantly I knew that she was doing that on purpose to give me a heart attack!" 12/03/07 - Traumatized By Inflationary Gunfire
by The Mogambo Guru "But for businesses, the prices they are paying keep going up, as the annual All-Items PPI inflation for October spiked to a 6.1% jump over this time last year. Food increased 7.1%, and Energy was up16.1%. Yikes!" 11/30/07 - Just Desserts Aren't So Absurd
by The Mogambo Guru "Getting one's just desserts is an 'absurd situation'? Hahaha! But then again, it's perfect French stupidity and perfect ECB stupidity! No wonder he got the job!" 11/29/07 - Commodities Benefit from Megaforces
by The Mogambo Guru "I can see the comparison would have been inappropriate because these are not merely forces he is talking about, but megaforces, like some huge, murderous juggernaut viciously stomping across the economic landscape…" 11/28/07 - The Cold Comfort of Economic Collapse
by The Mogambo Guru "My God! The entire Gross Domestic Product of the United States…is only about $14 trillion! So we are talking about losing, at a stroke, the equivalent of 26% of everything we make in an entire year? Yow!" 11/27/07 - Who's Afraid of Low Inflation?
by The Mogambo Guru "This is the most asinine and thoroughly ridiculous thing I have ever heard! In all my years of studying economics and rigorously defending my theories…I have never heard of such a thing as a 'danger of low inflation'…" 11/26/07 - Never Enough Gold Jewelry
by The Mogambo Guru "It was then that I wished if I knew of any time in my whole freaking life when some woman ever said to me, 'Don't buy me any more jewelry! Buy gold bullion as an investment, instead!' And I laughed." 11/23/07 - Economic Hell to Pay
by The Mogambo Guru "Like me getting drunk and surly, and then thinking that getting me drunker makes me more convivial. It does. For awhile. A very short while. And then, like in economics, there is hell to pay. With vomit, usually." 11/22/07 - Debt-Ridden Tooth Fairy
by The Mogambo Guru "I am sitting across the breakfast table from my surly son, and he has just concluded his daily ritual of asking me to give him some money for some stupid reason or another, like today, when he's whining about how his stupid abscessed tooth is now so painful that it can't wait a few more lousy days until, you know, my cash flow gets back in its 'groove'." 11/21/07 - Excess Dollars for Burgers and Falafels
by The Mogambo Guru "Taking up an Uzi in my trembling hand, I am suddenly brave and bold enough to bellow, 'What in the hell is going on here? Inflation in prices is freaking roaring all around us, and yet there is no panic? This is the stuff of nightmares!'" 11/20/07 - Twilight Zone Buying Power
by The Mogambo Guru "It's a frightening Twilight Zone moment when you realize that you started with $500,000 in buying power, and you ended up with, after waiting five long years, with only $439,700 in buying power!" 11/19/07 - More than "Sheets" Hitting the Fan
by The Mogambo Guru "This means that almost a third of my money is sucked away by the guys doing a lousy job of managing my money, and then another chunk will be taken from me in taxes by a government doing a lousy job of governing? Yow!" 11/16/07 - Franken Berry Needs an Inflation-Free Diet
by The Mogambo Guru "What is the sound of one hand clapping while the other hand reaches for a box of breakfast cereal and then having to pay more for it in dollars-per-ounce, which means having less money for everything else including going to a bar and getting hammered…" 11/15/07 - A Pause for Revolutionary Shivers
by The Mogambo Guru "So the end result is that imported goods cost more and domestically-produced goods cost more. Everything costs more! Hahaha! Fabulous work, Federal Reserve morons! Hahaha! Thanks for nothing!" 11/14/07 - The Dark Side of the Mogambo
by The Mogambo Guru "Since this is one of my favorite harangues, you can imagine the look of horror on their faces as they see me licking my chops in anticipation. They quickly head me off and hurriedly interject the invitation, 'Let's recap.'" 11/13/07 - Cash and the Commodity Craze
by The Mogambo Guru "Look at me! I am suddenly in the trigger swap business! I get to charge you a fee to float a dollar's worth of bonds backed up by a dollar's worth of your own money? Hahaha! And there are investors who will voluntarily do this? Hahahaha! What a racket!" 11/12/07 - Criminally Irresponsible Deficit Spending
by The Mogambo Guru "My God! I put up ten bucks to borrow a hundred with which to buy this debt, and now I am down by 50%? I have lost five times as much money as I put up! My God! My prostate involuntarily quivers in shock, proving that there is life in the old boy yet!" 11/09/07 - Spending More and Getting Less Drunk
by The Mogambo Guru "'Are you stupid because you are hateful, or are you hateful because you are stupid?' It's six of one and a half dozen of the other, I figure, but either way, gold is perfect for me because even stupid guys like me can buy it and prosper…" 11/08/07 - More Generous Inflation Protection
by The Mogambo Guru "But current retirees can relax, as 'The lower inflation-proofing would only apply to future entitlements. Past entitlement would continue to enjoy the more generous inflation protection.' Hahaha! 'More generous'!" 11/07/07 - GDP Math Problems
by The Mogambo Guru "At first, I thought that he was insulting me by expecting me to believe such stupidity - that price inflation would fall because oil went up in price, but he holds up the actual news article from MarketWatch.com, which confirms…" 11/06/07 - Caught Red Handed Killing the Dollar
by The Mogambo Guru "So Mr. Mishkin joins Alan Greenspan, running around saying, 'It's not my fault! It's not my fault!', when the whole world spent all that time watching him and the Fed bludgeoning the dollar, then standing over the prostrate, bloody body of the dollar, holding the murder weapon in his hands!" 11/05/07 - The Dinner Roll Model of Yale Economics
by The Mogambo Guru "Mitigation? I read this, and then I look at how Mr. Shiller is a 'famous Yale university economist', and I think to myself that famous or not, Yale or not, this is a pretty stupid thing to say…" 11/02/07 - Gold Flavored Napoleon Complex
by The Mogambo Guru "I read somewhere that the money supply in China is growing at 20%, which proves that the Chinese government is every bit as stupid as everybody else's governments, in that they allow…the money supply to grow at such a horrendously appalling rate." 11/01/07 - The Ticking of the Oil Clock
by The Mogambo Guru "Oil prices will be rising higher and higher with every tick of the clock, higher and higher, month after month and year after year, until sometime after you get old and die, and then it won't matter anymore, anyway." 10/31/07 - Painted Rock Predicts the Dollar Index
by The Mogambo Guru "Those of you who comprehend economics will understand why this made my blood congeal in my veins, and the reason why he goes from the falling dollar to a call to action, namely 'Ladies and gentlemen, prepare to defend yourselves.'" 10/30/07 - Drowning in Inflation is Never Popular
by The Mogambo Guru "And if the yuan is 40% undervalued…this means that if oil were to miraculously stay at $80 a barrel while the yuan strengthens by 40% against the dollar, then the price of imported oil will go down for the Chinese by 40%!" 10/29/07 - The Tequila Model of Exponential Growth
by The Mogambo Guru "As a guy who has been married and a father for a long time, and as a guy who has seen everything get continuously worse, I'm kind of getting freaked out here because 'continually worse' is a nightmare from which you never awake!" 10/26/07 - The Sole Inflation Creator
by The Mogambo Guru "I am beside myself in anger! If it had not been for the damnable Federal Reserve, we would all have a rising standard of living, as prices would be declining in line with productivity increases!" 10/25/07 - The Tremors of Economic Calamity
by The Mogambo Guru "What this…little putz of a 'journalist' doesn't understand is that the central banks are not a success, but are a gigantic failure, and they fooled everyone for a few years with their new calculations ('lying with statistics') of inflation in prices…" 10/24/07 - Gunning Down Money Creation
by The Mogambo Guru "So imagine my surprise to hear them yelling at each other 'Damn it! He almost shot me! What in the hell is that Stupid Lunatic Mogambo (SLM) doing now? He's going to kill us all with those stupid guns of his!'" 10/23/07 - Cheaper to Freeze to Death
by The Mogambo Guru "And the inflation news just keeps getting worse, as we had a 4.4% y-o-y increase in the Producer Price Index in September. And yet people wonder why I am in here puking into the toilet and cursing the Federal Reserve while I do it. Ugh." 10/22/07 - The Red Herring of Dollar Decline
by The Mogambo Guru "Secretly, I have to laugh, because all this time I thought it was because my wife and kids were stealing me blind, and I have been making their lives into a living hell for it! Hahaha! I guess the joke's on me!" 10/19/07 - 'Paltry' is a Laughable Distinction
by The Mogambo Guru "A bank loans some underpaid loser too much money to buy too much house, on which the bank will make some minimal profit even if he manages to pay the mortgage, and now the government wants the bank to take a loss to bail him out? Hahaha!" 10/18/07 - Werewolves of Inflation
by The Mogambo Guru "The government simply budgeted more borrowing…and so the budget deficit appears lower on paper, even though they borrowed and spent more than they budgeted! At that ugly news, I found my hands clenching into Powerful Mogambo Fists Of Outrage (PMFOO)!" 10/17/07 - Inflation is Scarier than Skimpy Pizza
by The Mogambo Guru "No more! Please! No more bad news about price inflation, the one thing to be feared above all things, except maybe skimpy pizza! But almost as bad!" 10/16/07 - Trading Your Paycheck for a Coin Purse
by The Mogambo Guru "The damned government has now ruined the money so badly that the little bit of metal in the old coins is now worth more than the face value of the coin, but the government can't wiggle out of paying for their sins by letting people not pay…taxes!" 10/15/07 - Jobs Fight to the Death
by The Mogambo Guru "My British sense of bathroom humor rises to the fore and I shout out, '854,000 barrels of liquids? Hell, I probably pee that much every night, as I have to get up about every two hours to go to the damned bathroom! Hahaha!'" 10/12/07 - The Mogambo Theory of Currency Relativity
by The Mogambo Guru "I bring this up because the Nobel Prize for economics is coming out this week, and I sure could use the huge wad of cash that comes with the Prize, and I finally deserve it this year, as I have just neatly connected Einstein's Relativity with money!" 10/11/07 - Dollar Bears Unite
by The Mogambo Guru "I was trying to wrap my three remaining functioning cranial neurons around this seeming paradox when I discovered that he was just toying with me! Teasing the poor mental defective cripple like the big bully he is!" 10/10/07 - Did He Say, "Tighter Monetary Policy"?
by The Mogambo Guru "So it looks like about $15.4 trillion in bank assets and liabilities is being backed up by a minuscule $40.2 billion! That's a microscopic 0.0026%. A quarter of 1%! Hahahaha! Fractional reserve banking at its finest! Hahahaha!" 10/09/07 - Gold Hoarding Greedy Pigs
by The Mogambo Guru "The majority must always be wrong! Therefore, it is crucial that they remain clueless at this stage of the coming gold, silver, oil and commodities boom, while the Wily, Scheming, Greedy Pigs (WSGP) of us buy gold, silver and oil at bargain rates!" 10/08/07 - The Rodney Dangerfield of Commodities
by The Mogambo Guru "As for the apparent disrespect for silver, it's the vector you get from history…and the suspicion that comes from an enigma, wrapped in a mystery, wrapped in a corrupt, stinking, filthy Comex/Nynex/government mess, so that now we are freaking doomed." 10/05/07 - Take My Buying Power…Please
by The Mogambo Guru "And all of this money was created so that the American government could slide into the stinking swamp of communism, as over one-half (the majority) of Americans get their income from government…" 10/04/07 - Oil Produces Expensive Caesar Salad
by The Mogambo Guru "Then, last Thursday, I was pretty well 'adjusted' and could barely hold my head up off the bar, when… Wham! The oil future shot up over $2.79 to $83.09! Hahaha! I was right! Absolutely correct, from an investment perspective…" 10/03/07 - A Potent Inflationary Cocktail
by The Mogambo Guru "But incompetence and inflation is what a central bank is all about! According to the Inflation Calculator, it takes $21 in 2007 dollars to buy the same stuff that $1 would have bought in 1913 when the monstrous Federal Reserve was created!" 10/02/07 - Demand Sacrifices Quality Packaging
by The Mogambo Guru "This, then, is how the rich get richer! And the poor get poorer because they are the ones paying the 'silent tax' of higher prices (inflation in prices) caused by the inflation in the money supply, which was created to buy the bonds in the first place!" 10/01/07 - The Not-So-Tragic Tale of Dollar/Oil Disparity
by The Mogambo Guru "Oil exporters don't want dollars, see? They want units of buying power that they can use right now (like ordering some pizza and liquid refreshments for everybody), or to use in the future…" 09/28/07 - The Indeflating Sub-Feral Government
by The Mogambo Guru "I took the box of porn and pizza mess and put it all over the office of my assistant, and HE got canned when I fired him! You should have heard him scream about how he was innocent! Hahahaha!" 09/27/07 - Educating Morons About the Margin
by The Mogambo Guru "If a billion bonds sold all day at $10 apiece, but the last (1,000,000,001th) bond of the day sold at $11, all the rest of that whole billion bonds are, now, also 'worth' $11! Hahaha! It's all happening at the margin!" 09/26/07 - Investors Sheared by Sharp Dealers
by The Mogambo Guru "The Big, Big, Bad, Bad, Big Bad News (BBBBBBN) was that the indicator of inflation and burdens (the Lagging Indicator) had (again!) the biggest rise, rising to 129.4 from 129.0!! Inflation is rising faster than anything! Again!" 09/25/07 - Inflation Leads to Bigger Bullet Biting
by The Mogambo Guru "And I know that you are just a stupid receptionist, but even you have to realize that each time you do that, the bullet gets bigger and bigger, and pretty soon you are having to chomp down on a bullet as big as a freaking cannon shell!" 09/24/07 - The Economic Boffo Comic
by The Mogambo Guru "We are also setting records in sheer, slimy corruption, as the limit on that debt (as last set by Congress), was only $8.965 trillion, and is now overspent by Congress (except Ron Paul) and they are all pretending not to notice! What absolute dirtbags!" 09/21/07 - Silver and Gold Salvation
by The Mogambo Guru "Suddenly, my heart jumped into overdrive, and I felt a cold chill that could only mean that I did not have enough silver stashed away, and leapt up to go out and get some more…" 09/20/07 - The Sound of One-Way Betting
by The Mogambo Guru "Naturally, I am confused, and my mind is whirling at the concept of 'the one-way bet', because I have never actually seen any real 'one-way bets', and so this sounds suspiciously like the old Zen classic, 'What is the sound of one hand clapping?'" 09/19/07 - The Pinecone Currency of Camptown
by The Mogambo Guru "'Even kids playing a simple game can show us the ways of inflation. Monetary inflation begets price inflation. Pinecones or your favorite paper currency, the fate will be the same.'" 09/18/07 - Welcoming the End of the World
by The Mogambo Guru "Higher prices in winter?…'Sounds miserable,' I think to myself, 'but not the end of the world!' This was…contradicted by Doug Casey… He writes, 'Let me cover the big picture. I do think we're approaching the end of the world as we know it.' Haha!" 09/17/07 - The Wages of Economic Stupidity
by The Mogambo Guru "I rudely barged ahead by saying, 'What we are going to learn is that the "wages of sin" may be death, as the Biblical saying goes, but the "wages of economic stupidity" are where actually dying is taking the easy way out'" 09/14/07 - A Peek at the Peak Oil Problem
by The Mogambo Guru "Originally, I had wanted to animate my little PowerPoint presentation to show the cumulative long-term effects of peak oil, meaning that the amount of oil pumped out of the ground will be going down, faster and faster…" 09/13/07 - Money Won't Supply Your Soup Spoon
by The Mogambo Guru "And the effects of the Fed 'considering the broad economic effects' is going to be equally as bad, which brings up the perennial question 'And just what in the hell is that supposed to mean?'" 09/12/07 - Dollar Index Can't Flex it's Puny Muscels
by The Mogambo Guru "Now the poor old buck has broken the 80 level on the dollar index, a…milestone of sorts, as there are rumored to be lots…of big bets using that level as the dividing line between breaking even and getting killed by the exchange rate of the dollar." 09/11/07 - Toying Around with Toxic Exports
by The Mogambo Guru "As far as I am concerned; things bought from China will cost more, and things that we will be importing from other places will cost more, too, because of all the new demand made possible with more Chinese money." 09/10/07 - Remembering Richebächer
by The Mogambo Guru "Dr. Kurt Richebächer, a legendary luminary in the Austrian school of economics vein, has, I am very sorry to say, died. I will miss him, although I never met him, but I have always been very impressed with him, and what he thought, and what he wrote." 09/07/07 - Subprime Meltdown Finally Affects Beer Drinkers
by The Mogambo Guru "There are probably a lot of theories why St. Pete customers aren't going to restaurants to swill beer like they used to…sales may be down because 'people are consuming at home' because of 'declining real estate values'…" 09/06/07 - Know Your Gold
by The Mogambo Guru "Analysis of the data from these Mogambo Research Associates (MRA) forays into the field has shown that test subjects readily and consistently reveal that they don't know anything about gold…" 09/05/07 - Inflation Attacks the News Stand
by The Mogambo Guru "No, the particular thing that set me off in a rage was that she said Barron's rose in price from $4 an issue to $5! A 25% jump! Overnight! Naturally I assumed that the stupid cashier deliberately overcharged me, the little vicious brat…" 09/04/07 - The Mogambo Money Making Book Club
by The Mogambo Guru "A single insight! One! One thing to learn! 'This insight,' adds Mr. Wiggin tantalizingly, 'is what you will find described in this remarkable new book.' One thing to learn! I love this book already!" 09/03/07 - Ups and Downs in an Economic Black Hole
by The Mogambo Guru "Infinite variance! I damn near choked on my burrito at the very concept! Infinite variance! What in the hell could this possibly mean? In my Tiny Mogambo Mind (TMM), I see bell curves suddenly appearing out of nowhere…" 08/31/07 - Voodoo, Fraud, and Economic Fairy Dust
by The Mogambo Guru "Wow! Instantly I thought, 'It's like magic! So what are these wonderful Level 3 gains? And can I get some, too? And can I get enough to bail my sorry butt out of the mess I have gotten myself into before next Tuesday at 4:00 PM?'" 08/30/07 - The Magical Adjustable Money Supply
by The Mogambo Guru "This means that the rise in the money supply, which is being caused by insane levels of borrowing and consumer price inflation of 10%, is made to magically disappear as inflation and then happily reappear as healthy 'growth'…" 08/29/07 - Economic System Goes Down The Big Crapper
by The Mogambo Guru "To be as senselessly rude as I could, I sent them all congratulatory telegrams, ('Dear Buttheads, Congratulations on killing America before any of our many, many other enemies did! Hahahaha! Sincerely, The Mogambo')." 08/28/07 - Drug Induced Inflation Allowance
by The Mogambo Guru "What could possess us to allow the Fed and the Congress (except Ron Paul) do this to us?…I think we are, collectively, so bereft of common sense because we are all so stoned-out on a gigantic cornucopia of prescription tranquilizing drugs…" 08/27/07 - Down to the Last Grain
by The Mogambo Guru "Well, I don't have to ask about price inflation in the USA, as John Williams of ShadowStats.com has just released his latest reports, and he says that inflation is running at 10.1%. Yow! We're freaking doomed!" 08/24/07 - Economic Enemy #1
by The Mogambo Guru "Alan Greenspan is guilty, guilty, guilty of letting the banks create all that excess money and credit, which distorted the hell out of the mal-invested economy and caused crippling inflation in the prices of everything…" 08/23/07 - Unlawful Economic Stupidity
by The Mogambo Guru "As evidence of that surprising 'economic laws don't apply here' statement…almost $500 trillion in financial derivatives exist…and the number of derivatives 'is increasing at the rate of 40 percent per annum.'" 08/22/07 - Debt-Sized Wake Up Call
by The Mogambo Guru "Daydreams of hot, luscious pizza loaded with yummy pork products flew from my head when I read that Total Fed Credit shot up an astounding $17.2 billion last week! Huge!" 08/21/07 - Liquidity Can't Solve Insolvency
by The Mogambo Guru "The big, big problem with the whole subprime/CDO/Armageddon market thing is that while the values on these assets can go down, the debts incurred to buy the assets don't." 08/20/07 - The One Quintillion Pengo Note
by The Mogambo Guru "And, since we all seem to be talking 'all China, all the time', China's latest reading of inflation went up again, to 5.5%! Hahaha! Welcome to inflation hell, you Chinese morons!" 08/17/07 - Two Days to Make $300 Billion, Part II
by The Mogambo Guru "And what in the hell happened to the gold lease rate? It's going berserk! And who in the hell is buying dollars to keep the dollar index above 80, and why?" 08/16/07 - Two Days to Make $300 Billion, Part I
by The Mogambo Guru "$300 billion is…a Big Freaking Lot (BFL) of money, being almost a third of a trillion dollars in two days…or being roughly $50 in cash for every man, woman and child on the entire freaking planet in two days!" 08/15/07 - Laughing in the Face of Fiscal Annihilation
by The Mogambo Guru "But although we are all in a good mood now, there is nothing funny about the current collapse of the mortgage derivatives mess that the damned banks got us into…" 08/13/07 - Voodoo Bell Curve Curses the Fed
by The Mogambo Guru "…the Fed is doomed to fail, due not by my hating them so much and my putting a voodoo curse on them all, but on its total reliance on the bell curve and probability theory…" 08/10/07 - Black Swans Swept Away By Rogue Waves
by The Mogambo Guru "If you look up 'expert problem' in the index, it tells you to 'see empty suit problem', which tells you everything you need to know without looking anything up, which is real handy!" 08/09/07 - SEC You Later Mortgage Defaults
by The Mogambo Guru "One of the things that is keeping the stock market alive is the same reason why China is trying to shore up its banks; to address the ugly fact that inflation in China has risen to 4.4%…above the government's '3% target'" 08/08/07 - Misdiagnosed Economic Insanity
by The Mogambo Guru "The last thing I remember before blanking out is that this totals to about 80% of GDP! Or more! And even now I still feel kind of woozy about it! Losses suddenly totaling 80% of GDP? Yow!" 08/01/07 - Negative Inflation: Courtesy of Coke Chocula
by The Mogambo Guru "With the 'substitution effect' in play, we can then assume that the Fed will say that all consumers would try to escape higher prices in other foodstuffs by switching to breakfast cereals (which still cost the same in 'dollars per box'), which in turn would be substituted by cocaine (which went down in price), driving overall inflation in food to less than zero!" 07/30/07 - Being Fed Bigger Bread Prices
by The Mogambo Guru "Right now, price of just about everything is going up - especially prices of food and oil. This week, the Mogambo Guru explains why this increase in prices, when coupled with increasingly crushing debt, can have serious consequences with regard to your weekly diet - unless you're on Atkins. Read on…" 07/23/07 - Prices Benefit from Spooked Shorts
by The Mogambo Guru "This week, The Mogambo looks at the stock market, and upon hearing about margin debt, consequently chokes on his own tongue. Fortunately, he is able to compose himself, and give yet another rant on the insane creation of money and credit by the Fed. Read on…" 07/16/07 - No More Wind in Existing Home Sails
by The Mogambo Guru "This week, the Mogambo grabs a calculator instead of an Uzi, and calculates a terrible truth about the mortgage market - all the while sadly pushing one economist to the brink of madness. Read on…" 07/09/07 - When Good Money Goes Bad
by The Mogambo Guru "Inflation is roundly regarded as an economic evil - a danger zone that is to be avoided at all costs. Why then, are governments around the world knowingly venturing into this financial "no man's land" by constantly printing valueless paper money? As the Mogambo explains, this is nothing short of insanity. Read on…" 07/02/07 - The "Art" of Devaluing Money
by The Mogambo Guru "Printing money must be as fun as riding a roller coaster - because the Fed keeps getting in line to do it over again. Of course, it's only a matter of time before someone loses his lunch, and as the Mogambo Guru explains, the U.S. dollar has already got a little bile in its throat. Read on…" 06/25/07 - Planetary Super Bargain
by The Mogambo Guru "In the midst of such serious financial times, there are only two words you need to remember: Mogambo and gold. These are the only two things that can save you from the inevitable collapse of a worldwide asset boom of catastrophic proportions. Read on…" 06/18/07 - Oil Shys Away from Detrimental Dollar
by The Mogambo Guru "It is a sad fact to face, but the dollar's buying power is decreasing as the global demand for oil is increasing. And so we turn to the Mogambo - hiding in his ultra-fortified bunker - for a full assessment of how "Freaking Doomed!" we really are. Read on…" 06/11/07 - Worth Your Minimum Wage in Gold
by The Mogambo Guru "The recent minimum wage increase is the most shameful achievement of any Congress in the last forty years. So sayeth The Mogambo in his three fold argument for why this "achievement" is yet one more nail in the U.S. dollar's coffin. Read on… 06/04/07 - A Mouthful of Price Inflation
by The Mogambo Guru "There are certain topics regarding today's markets that are constantly talked about by investors and analysts alike. Among them are China, the usefulness of commodities, and dollar strength. However, there is only one who can discuss them while eating a double-grande burrito supreme. Read on…" 05/28/07 - Fighting Off Cynics With Golden Gloves
by The Mogambo Guru "Given the rather direct tone of our dear Mogambo's weekly musings, it is no surprise that he gets a certain level of equally, er…direct responses. This week, he rebuts one of these emails with the derisive wit that he is known for - and you won't believe who it's addressed to. Read on…" 05/21/07 - Going Postal On Inflation
by The Mogambo Guru "Well dear reader, it appears we are backed into a corner. Once again inflation is the bully in the schoolyard, and we are the little guy who doesn't want to give up our lunch money. Our only hope is that the mighty Mogambo makes it in time to stop him - or at least offer some amusing insights onto why this bully is so ridiculous. Read on…" 05/14/07 - Manufacturing Job Creation
by The Mogambo Guru "With only 88,000 jobs created in April, things are already looking pretty grim for the average American worker. But as the Mogambo explains, things could get much worse, as the government tries to trick us by adding 'hamburger flipping' to the list of manufacturing jobs. Read on… 05/07/07 - Putrid Economics at a Terrible Price
by The Mogambo Guru "Need to lose weight? Try the new line of Mogambo Yummy Diet Food (MYDF). You won't lose any weight, but you can feel confident that your purchase will prove, beyond a doubt, that you are just as stupid as the Fed's stance on inflation, and that you have helped the Mogambo get rich beyond his wildest dreams. Read on…" 04/30/07 - The Gluttony of Hedonic Adjustments
by The Mogambo Guru "Just in case you are new to the Rants And Raves Of The Mighty Mogambo (RAROTMM), here is a little background: inflation is the worst thing that can happen to your economy. This week, the angriest guy in economics expounds a bit more on the horrors of inflation through the mystery of 'hedonic adjustments.' Read on…" 04/23/07 - Fed in the Land of Excess
by The Mogambo Guru "The Fed doesn't know how to do anything small - and the Mogambo never lets them do it without giving them a piece of his mind. See why this week, he wants to drag them down to The Mogambo Secret Kangaroo Court Of Vengeance (TMSKCOV). Read on…" 04/16/07 - Expensive Ethanol Eggs
by The Mogambo Guru "It's true; eggs are both incredible, and edible. But lately, they're also very pricey. This week, the Mogambo discovers why ethanol is the reason you might soon be spending $19.95 on a Denver Omelet." 04/09/07 - Financial Earthquakes
by The Mogambo Guru "If preventing inflation and boom/bust cycles is the reason the Fed took over the power of America's money supply, why are we currently experiencing the negative effects of each of these economic phenomenon? Is there no one who will stand up and point out this injustice? The Mogambo Guru, ladies and gentlemen…" 04/02/07 - From Beyond the Grave
by The Mogambo Guru "This week, The Mogambo visits Zimbabwe, where inflation is running at 2,000% per year. And given his colossal fear of inflation, it is no wonder apparitions of the worst possible kind plague him. Read on…" 03/26/07 - 450 Billion Twenties
by The Mogambo Guru "The bane and beauty of paper money is that there is no limit to how much you can print. The Treasury could pay off the entire national debt, simply by printing nine, one trillion dollar bills. Of course, if it were up to the Mogambo, he wouldn't print anything he couldn't use at the convenience store. Read on…" 03/19/07 - Mexican Jumping Oil
by The Mogambo Guru "First the tortilla crisis, now this? Oh Mexico…if only you hadn't put all your eggs in one chalupa. This week, the Mogambo Guru examines the Mexican peak oil crisis, and (in perfect Spanish) explains why depending on oil exports for 40% of your revenue is "no bueno". Read on…" 03/12/07 - Watchdogs or Lapdogs
by The Mogambo Guru "This week, the Ominous Laughter Of The Mogambo (OLOTM) can be heard throughout the halls of the Daily Reckoning. What's he laughing about? Well, the stupidity of certain people who think that inflation is okay, for one. Oh, and bartenders who refuse to serve him. Read on…" 03/05/07 - Inflation Wants to Eat Your Children
by The Mogambo Guru "Increased money supply is a cancerous growth on the nearly perfect body of economics. Unfortunately, that body is fully exposed to the dangers of inflation. Let's just hope the Mogambo can tell us how to fight this horrible monster. Read on…" 02/26/07 - Gold's Eternal Truth
by The Mogambo Guru "This week, the Mighty Mogambo tries to convince his gathered audience that owning gold is the only way to save yourself from bubbles and a falling dollar. Well, gold and the Mogambo Time-Sharing Investment Scam (MTSIS). Read on…" 02/19/07 - Extraordinary Silver Pajamas
by The Mogambo Guru "Empty your children's closets and make room for more silver. This week, the Mogambo explains why Wal-Mart and germ-o-phobic mothers are about to make silver the most important commodity you'll ever own. Read on…" 02/12/07 - Inflationary Bonfire
by The Mogambo Guru "As the monetary moon becomes full, our angry economist howls about the bonfire of inflation, in an attempt to warn those who are smart enough to listen about the inherent dangers of such a terrible, terrible economic occurrence. Read on…" 02/05/07 - Extreme Umbrage
by The Mogambo Guru "To say that the Mogambo is 'angry' is like saying that the sun is 'a little hot.' This week, he is FURIOUS about what some people are saying about retirement. Read on to see what has caused our enraged economist's umbrage meter to skyrocket…" 01/29/07 - Feed Your Kids Pig Chow
by The Mogambo Guru "With a crowd of onlookers urging him forward, the Mighty Mogambo attacks the insanity of Bernanke's Fed policy with great vehemence and Icky Mogambo Spittle (IMS). Find out how inflation could be the cause of great change in your children's diets, as the Mogambo explains why you might need to…" 01/22/07 - All Aboard the Inflation Exress!
by The Mogambo Guru "There is a monster under the bed of America that threatens to eat us in our sleep…minimum wage. For ten years he's been held at bay, but now he's being tempted to rise up and bring his evil friend inflation along with him. Can anyone stop him? We leave it to our resident monster slayer, The Mogambo Guru…" 01/15/07 - Another Nail in the Coffin
by The Mogambo Guru "The Mogambo is attempting to stay calm…but when he looks at the housing market…and then back at the Fed…and then back at the housing market, not only is he getting whiplash, but some serious indigestion, too. Find out why below…" 01/08/07 - Gold-Flavored Cannibalism
by The Mogambo Guru "This week, The Angriest Guy in Economics meets up with gold, government blood drinkers, and his counterpart - The Mellowest Guy in Economics. No, it's not a Scooby Doo rerun, it's The Mogambo…" 01/02/07 - A Vicious Circle
by The Mogambo Guru "The U.S. economy is a myriad of contradictions and confusions - one, in particular, being that consumer spending is keeping the economy afloat. Hmm…the Mogambo wonders - where is the consumer getting the money to begin with?" 12/26/06 - Aging Dollar vs. Young Amero
by The Mogambo Guru "The Amero is supposedly a proposed new common currency for Canada, the United States and Mexico that will morph us all into one big happy family, which is funny enough that rational people would contemplate such stupidity…" 12/18/06 - Moving Back Home for the Gravy
by The Mogambo Guru "The Brits have showed us that there's one surefire way to avoid the declining standard of living in America: live with your family. So if you manage to make it through the holidays without "accidentally" locking your Great Aunt Ida in the basement, this may be something you want to look into. The Mighty Mogambo explains…" 12/11/06 - Overly Taxed Earthling Brains
by The Mogambo Guru "Some would argue that inflation is no laughing matter - but try telling that to our fearless Masked Economist. He can even find the humor in Really, Really Bad News (RRBN). Read on…" 12/04/06 - The Road to Commodity-ville
by The Mogambo Guru "The Mogambo has decided to educate the masses using his special brand attention getting tactics. On today's agenda…the stock market is only profitable for some…and for those who buy gold and silver. Read on…" 11/27/06 - Reverting to the Mean
by The Mogambo Guru "Somewhere along the line, the high price of gold fell to its theoretical value, and then overshot on the downside. And that's where we are now. And now the actual price is 300% below its theoretical value! The Mogambo explores…" 11/20/06 - Lessons From A Kindergartener
by The Mogambo Guru "All the Mogambo really needs to know about life…inverted yield curves…and gold, he learned in kindergarten. Read on…" 11/13/06 - Worthless Dollars in a Drafty Shack
by The Mogambo Guru "The U.S. debt and equities owned by foreigners have fallen in value, thanks to the collapse of the dollar, by a third! A 33% loss in five years! Our Mighty Masked Economist explores…" 11/06/06 - Economic Spaghetti
by The Mogambo Guru "Like most economic systems, everything is seemingly fine until, without warning, some errant combination of unseen forces shake your happy little world to the core. And of course, the Mogambo has a theory based on this. Read on…" 10/30/06 - 25-Cent Tacos Still a Pipedream
by The Mogambo Guru "The Mogambo is a bit confused. How is it that gold exports are up, but our gold isn't actually leaving the country? The answer to this question - and more - below…" 10/23/06 - Minimum Wage Wins Nobel Prize
by The Mogambo Guru "If you are tired of listening to the Mogambo scream and scream and tell you how important it is to pad your portfolio with gold and silver…too bad. Because he's doing it again. Read on…" 10/16/06 - Debt, The Dollar, and Snakes
by The Mogambo Guru "There is nothing funny about debt. But as the Mogambo explains, laughter may be a viable path to True Mogambo Enlightenment…" 10/09/06 - Something Strange in the Neighborhood
by The Mogambo Guru "There's a chill in the air…and it's not just the change of seasons. The Mogambo's economic nose is twitching…find out why, below…" 10/02/06 - Inflation: The Real Hamburglar
by The Mogambo Guru "I make a mental note that since the government is tapping our phones now, I can simply have FBI give me a list of exactly who was talking to who in my class, so that I can take my calculated revenge with their final grades." 09/25/06 - The Insane Hell of Fractional-Reserve Banking
by The Mogambo Guru "What is making the Mogambo crazy with fear this week (or at least as afraid as all the meds he's on will allow)? Just the usual suspects: his wife, the Federal Reserve, and, of course, inflation. Read on…" 09/18/06 - Let Them Eat Cake!
by The Mogambo Guru "Surprise, surprise - comments from the Federal Reserve has the Mogambo on the verge of hysteria. Find out what has him in a tizzy, below…" 09/11/06 - Gold, In a Nutshell
by The Mogambo Guru "'As the dollar suffers one of the great meltdowns in monetary history, gold will reclaim its place at the center of the global financial system, and its value, relative to most of today's national currencies, will soar.'" 08/28/06 - Financial Mouse Trap
by The Mogambo Guru "'I equate fiat currency like a mouse trap. The easy credit and instant gratification it gives you is the bait. The bar that is sprung when the bait is taken is called inflation.'" 08/21/06 - Inflation: A Father-Daughter Reunion
by The Mogambo Guru "Suddenly, the room was silent. I looked at her. She looked at me. Then she said, softly, 'We're freaking doomed!'" 08/14/06 - Smoot-Hawley 2006
by The Mogambo Guru "Thanks to the horrid Federal Reserve creating the money to create some debt to buy the debt) - a raise in the minimum wage by 40% in three years would be too, too, too much. Think Smoot-Hawley."
08/07/06 - New Jobs for the Smuggling Industry by The Mogambo Guru "This is the genius of the electorate? Instead of stopping inflation by reining in the Federal Reserve, we are going to make the inflation situation worse by mandating higher wages? Hahahaha! What suicidal idiocy!"
07/24/06 - "We" Includes the Chinese
by The Mogambo Guru "I laugh contemptuously ('Hahaha!') at these Chinese doofuses for their incompetence and stupidity for copying the same stupid mistakes in monetary policy that everyone else made."
07/10/06 - Ponzi Economy
by The Mogambo Guru "Money is suddenly disappearing, and this is not good for stock prices, housing prices, or my wife's natural homicidal belligerence toward me when she realizes that some of her money has, likewise, disappeared." 07/03/06 - The Bread War
by The Mogambo Guru "Pull up a chair and let me tell you about Zimbabwe, the most grossly, insanely mismanaged economy in the history of the world; they confiscated the assets of the only profitable businesses in the country."
06/26/06 - The Economy of Gentlemen
by The Mogambo Guru "If the dollar buys a lot of stuff, you feel good. It's sort of like when I came home from my strenuous research at the Club Wanda Wanda Wanda, situated, as it is, way out on the dusty outskirts of town."
06/19/06 - Bond Buying and Pill Popping
by The Mogambo Guru "This is the ultimate in fiscal fraud and they all should all go to prison for it. And if the American government was not filled with stupid, ignorant, untrustworthy, lying, corrupt, cheating jerks, that's where they would go."
06/12/06 - Malignant Monetary Madness
by The Mogambo Guru "The nomination of Goldman Sachs' bigwig Hank Paulson for Treasury secretary has the Suspicious Mogambo Mind working overtime. Read his latest conspiracy theory, below…"
06/05/06 - Regarding the Resurgent Bubble
by The Mogambo Guru "This Russian ruble thing is 'the second most significant step in removing the U.S.$ from the throne of sole global reserve and trading currency! Should any more oil producers take this step, it will precede a U.S.$ crisis.'"
05/20/06 - As American As Housing and Health Care
by The Mogambo Guru "Wonders never cease…the ever-cryptic former Fed chief recently said something easily understand by the average person. Find out what Greenspan said that has the Mogambo in such a tizzy, below…" 05/22/06 - A Golden Loaf
by The Mogambo Guru "How much gold does it take to buy a $200 million loaf of bread when gold is at $87 trillion per ounce? Answer: 1/435,000th of an ounce! You can buy 435,000 loaves of bread with one ounce of gold!"
05/08/06 - The Exorcism of the United States
by The Mogambo Guru "The head that is being twisted around by the Federal Reserve is America's. Instead of hearing Ms. Blair saying her immortal, blood-chilling line, all you hear is cartilage snapping, bones breaking, and then the head pops off."
05/01/06 - Pure Economic Salvation
by The Mogambo Guru "I advocate that you take physical possession of gold and silver bullion. One reason is that once you have it paid for and in hand, your annual costs go to zero." 04/24/06 - Chinese Golden Eye
by The Mogambo Guru "I beg you to please, please, please tell me what in the world is the attraction of these certificates, linked to gold, denominated in dollars, to rich Chinese people?"
04/17/06 - Bond Market Bozos
by The Mogambo Guru "These bond-buying morons are losing money and yet, are still intent on locking their money up for up to 30 years by buying long bonds so that they can get tiny, less-than-inflation yields! What kind of stupidity is that?" 04/10/06 - The "Two Trill In Cash" Plan
by The Mogambo Guru "This whole 'two trillion in cash' scenario has some, umm, merit, especially if you are thinking that foreigners dumping American securities would instantly be reflected in instantaneous losses in bonds."
03/27/06 - Full Faith and Credit!
by The Mogambo Guru "Ben Bernanke, chairman of the horrid U.S. Federal Reserve, has announced that the sheer reputation of the Federal Reserve will be enough to keep interest rates lower than they otherwise would be."
03/20/06 - Mining: Back With A Vengeance
by The Mogambo Guru "The 74th annual Prospectors and Developers Association of Canada convention at the Toronto Metro Centre drew 'Fourteen thousand people, people! Seven hundred exhibitors. Mining is indeed back!'"
03/13/06 - The Federal Reserve and the Nebulon Five Galaxy
by The Mogambo Guru "The vulgar phrase 'act Fed' has replaced the long-time favorite expression, 'He's got his grumkin up his gorfhole."
03/06/06 - The Bernanke Agreement
by The Mogambo Guru "I leap to my feet and shout, 'Hooray! Hooray for Ben Bernanke!' and then I am shocked at hearing myself say it! I feel dizzy at the experience!" 02/27/06 - The Cab-Driving Economist
by The Mogambo Guru "It could be that that consumers are spending by cutting back on other things…taxi drivers, by dint of their conversing with so many passengers in their cabs, have a good idea of what is really happening." 02/20/06 - Desperate Times Call For Desperate Measures
by The Mogambo Guru "More and more investors are becoming distressed in today's unstable and uncertain economy. However, there is a silver (no pun intended) lining in all of this. The Mogambo Guru explores…"
02/13/06 - A Golden Imagination
by The Mogambo Guru "In case you want to test your imagination, Sprott Asset Management says that they can easily imagine $80,000 per ounce. And now, I am imagining it and having pleasant little daydreams about it, too."
02/06/06 - Mister, Can You Loan Me A Buck?
by The Mogambo Guru "An economy requires that people have to be out spending money, making money, borrowing money, investing money, and loaning money, all of which it takes to make an economy go. And suddenly, we are 'None Of The Above.'" 01/30/06 - A Comedy of the Absurd
by The Mogambo Guru "Any price inflation is worrisome, and when price inflation is over 3%, it is, historically, supposed to have central bankers and governments jumping out of windows in panic, and citizens rioting in the streets." 01/23/06 - Fearful Effects of Inflation
by The Mogambo Guru "The money supply is going up faster than the growth in the economy, which means that prices will increase." 01/16/06 - The Oil Plans of Iran
by The Mogambo Guru "Instead of an American-controlled oil market and American friends and insiders getting rich making their slimy little backroom deals, now it will be an Iran-controlled oil market."
01/09/06 - Got Gold?
by The Mogambo Guru "The Mogambo smiles as he says, 'Harken to me, my darling dudes and dudettes. Gold! Got gold? Get gold!'"
12/26/05 - Menace to Society
by The Mogambo Guru "The highlight of every holiday season for us here at The Daily Reckoning is the annual Christmas card from our friend, The Mighty Mogambo. And in this holiday spirit, we give you…The Mogambo's Monday Essay (TMME)…"
12/19/05 - To Trust, Or Not To Trust, The Banks Are In Question
by The Mogambo Guru"Gold's rise has some investors dancing in the street, singing the yellow metal's praises - while others, who don't hold physical gold bullion are banging their head against the wall. The Mogambo Guru explains…"
12/12/05 - Those Rich Guys and their Precious Metals
by The Mogambo Guru "The best part - and this is why you should be buying gold - is that the price of gold is being held down by governments because it reflects so bad on them, giving you a bargain."
12/05/05 - If Only King Midas Would Return
by The Mogambo Guru "'Global gold production is set to decline dramatically over the next four years and this is set to generate a scramble for gold ounces.'"</ | 
The Mogambo Guru Lives!