Monetary Joyride
"I explained that, yes, I had my foot on the accelerator, but the car went fast all by itself! In fact, the more I stepped on the accelerator, the faster the car went! It's obviously one of the mysteries of the universe!"
by The Mogambo Guru I got a real kick out of The Week Ahead column in the Wall Street Journal on Monday, as Sudeep Reddy starts out saying, "Inflation is too high because of soaring global commodity prices." Hahaha! Apparently this doofus does not know that inflation in prices comes AFTER inflation in the money supply, and so while "inflation is too high", it is NOT because of soaring global commodity prices: It is because the staggering increases in global money supply have created so damned much money that all that dough has to go somewhere, and it is going into the marketplace to bid up the prices of things, like commodities, creating the higher prices! But stupidity about inflation is so rampant that I actually tried this fascinating philosophy that very day as I was driving along in my car. I had the radio blaring and the "pedal to the metal" as I happily raced along, passing other cars with a big "whoosh!" and honking at the pretty girls hoping that they would say, "Oh, you are so handsome! Take me for a ride and I will let you do whatever you want, over and over again, until you are exhausted!" After a while I was pretty grumpy because none of the girls wanted to go for a ride and most of them threatened to call the police if I did not stop bothering them and honking the horn at them, which was prophetic in its own way because the police soon pulled me over. Anyway, the thought of being pulled over by the police would normally have me in a panic, but this time I was ready! So as I pulled over to the side of the road, I smiled smugly to myself as the grim-faced cop came sauntering up to my car, whereupon he started predictably yammering about giving me a ticket for speeding. Coolly, and with a sneer on my face, I told him that it wasn't my fault! I explained that, yes, I had my foot on the accelerator, but the car went fast all by itself! In fact, the more I stepped on the accelerator, the faster the car went! It's obviously one of the mysteries of the universe! He just kept calmly writing out the citation in that damned little pad of his, and I kept explaining how this is the exact same scenario that Ben Bernanke, chairman of the Federal Reserve and Sudeep Reddy, ace reporter for the Wall Street Journal, keep yammering about! They say that roaring inflation in prices, like the roaring inflation in my vehicle's speed, happens all by itself, and if he wanted to hand out tickets for mysteries of the cosmos like this, then why doesn't he get his fat, stupid cop butt back into his stupid little cop car and arrest Ben Bernanke, Alan Greenspan and Sudeep Reddy? Of course, I naturally figured that with these kinds of references, he would soon see the powerful validity of my argument about how I was right that the speed of my car was not my fault, and send me merrily on my way, again happily speeding, the radio blaring and honking at the pretty girls. But he didn't. He started giving me a hard time! The bastard! Then I decided to play my trump card, and told him that I can't be given a traffic citation because I had already given myself a pardon for any crimes I may have committed, including traffic infractions, just like Bush and Cheney have given themselves a pardon-in-advance against being charged with war crimes of which they are obviously guilty. My argument is simple: If these two despicable creeps could pass legislation that trumps international laws and conventions to which we are signatory members, then surely I can be above the law, too! It's just a matter of creating the right pieces of paper! It didn't work. He knew I was an idiot. And I know a couple of other idiots, but they didn't get tickets for speeding. See the kind of discriminatory crap I have to put up with every damned day of my life it seems? P.S. To get The Daily Reckoning sent directly to your inbox, sign up for our free email newsletter, or if you prefer to use RSS, subscribe to the Daily Reckoning RSS feed. Editor's Note: Richard Daughty is general partner and COO for Smith Consultant Group, serving the financial and medical communities, and the editor of The Mogambo Guru economic newsletter - an avocational exercise to heap disrespect on those who desperately deserve it.
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