Inflation Induced Fainting Spells

"My head is swimming and I feel a swoon coming on at the idea of 38% inflation, and I would have fainted, too, if I hadn't remembered what happened the LAST time I had a fainting spell because of inflation in consumer prices…"

by The Mogambo Guru

On other inflation fronts, the United Kingdom reported a new all-time record for inflation in producer prices - with June input prices rising 30.0% from a year ago! A third!

This may be part of the explanation of a MarketWatch.com report that said, "Prices of goods imported into the U.S. rose 2.6% in June", which is a one-month rise that is terrifying, as those treacherous Brits raise their prices because their costs have gone up, instead of taking a loss on our behalf! Those limey bastards! They're almost as bad as those oil-exporting nations who won't give us oil for free!

And there is a little inflation everywhere you look, as "U.S. export prices, meanwhile, rose 1% in June after having gained 0.4% in the prior month", neither of which sounds particularly alarming until you get to either multiplying 1% inflation times twelve months to get 12% inflation in prices, or the part that "Overall, import prices were 20.5% higher than in June 2007"! 20% increase in prices! My God! We're freaking doomed!

Well, naturally, as an American, I am soon bored with the United Kingdom, and foreigners of all kinds, and figure that they deserve what they get for not being smart enough to be born as Americans or deliberately crashing their spaceship here. The bad news is that for us Americans who WERE prescient enough to do so, the news is not so good, as you would want.

Guaranteed inflation in prices that follows an inflation in the money supply (thanks to the despicable Federal Reserve creating so much money and credit over the last decade or so) is now here in spades, as the Bureau of Labor Statistics of the U.S. Department of Labor just reported that the Producer Price Index (PPI) for Finished Goods increased 1.8% in June, "seasonally adjusted". If you prefer your data un-adjusted, prices are actually up 9.2% from a year ago!

Even worse, at the earlier stages of processing, "prices received by producers of intermediate goods rose 2.1 percent in June after moving up 2.9 percent in the prior month," and last but not least, the crude goods index increased a whopping 3.7% following a huge 6.7% gain in May! Inflation in prices is freaking here, and we are freaking doomed!

Of course, this "We're freaking doomed" idea was not mentioned at all in the BLS report, almost certainly censored out, as I distinctly remember writing to them, "Dear BLS morons, Inflation in prices that follows inflation in the money supply is here! Look at your own inflation data, you Halfwit, Lowlife, Lying Government Scumbags (HLLGS)! We're freaking doomed! And you can quote me on that! (signed) Mogambo."

Most people would say, "I wouldn't quote you, either, if you insulted me like that!", which only proves why I don't like most people, but which doesn't explain why the news just gets worse and worse, as "During the first 6 months of 2008, the finished goods index rose at a 12.4-percent seasonally adjusted annual rate (SAAR) after increasing at a 5.8-percent SAAR during the second half of 2007." Yikes! 12% inflation!

I am trying not to scream out "We're freaking doomed" at the mere idea of 12% inflation in prices, much less the actuality of 12% inflation in prices, and (thanks to a Manly Mogambo Effort (MME)), I temporarily succeed in controlling myself, only to be whacked upside the proverbial head with "Prices for finished energy goods climbed at a 38.1-percent SAAR from December 2007 to June 2008 after rising at a 16.7-percent SAAR for the 6 months ended December 2007." 38% inflation in prices!

My head is swimming and I feel a swoon coming on at the idea of 38% inflation, and I would have fainted, too, if I hadn't remembered what happened the LAST time I had a fainting spell because of inflation in consumer prices, where everybody gathered around to steal my wallet and use my own money to bet whether or not I would die! Bastards!

But this is not about the crap I have to put up with around here from a bunch of sadistic pinheads, but about how the news just keeps getting (as they say) worser and worser, as the inflation in prices for crude goods is where the news unbelievably gets worse, as if that even seems possible, with prices being up a gigantic 45.5% (unadjusted) from a year ago! 45% increase in prices! Yikes! We're Truly, Truly, Truly Freaking Doomed (TTTFD)!

As if one cue, I lose my cool and I run around my desk in little circles screaming, "We're freaking doomed! We're freaking doomed!"

After a few laps, I am winded and tired, and as I pant and puff, I realize that it is not just us Americans that are doomed, as people all over the world are suffering from the horrors of runaway inflation in the consumer prices of things like food and energy because their idiot governments are allowing too much creating of money and credit, too, just like us butthead Americans.

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The Mogambo Guru is quoted frequently in Barron's, The Daily Reckoning and other fine publications. Click here to visit the Mogambo archive page.

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