A Piddly $4.4 Billion 'Drop in the Bucket'

"OF COURSE $4.4 billion is not enough! The economic system and the players in it have to absorb trillions of dollars of current and future losses! A piddly $4.4 billion? Hahahaha! Talk about your proverbial 'drop in the bucket'! Hahaha!"

by The Mogambo Guru

As the 321Gold.com site titled it, "Merrill in Emergency Weekend Talks", which I took to be a news report that Merrill Lynch, probably like all the other financial hustlers out there, is looking at a few zillions of dollars in collateralized losses, with the attendant angry customers and their snarling lawyers, and then they look out of the windows of their fancy offices and notice that there are buzzards circling overhead, and they know right then that they are just dead meat walking.

So I can see how they would be in "emergency talks", and I laughed at their predicament, but not the good "hahaha!" kind of laugh where everybody is having a good time, but the "hahahahahahahahaha!" kind that has a lot of sneering scorn and Vicious Mogambo Schadenfreude (VMS), where I not only take delight in the suffering of these yahoos who deserve to suffer, but I positively revel in the stuff, and want to see them suffer more because of the sheer degree of misery they have caused, and I laugh derisively "hahaha!" out loud, and I send them hate mail ("Dear Financial Hustling Scumbag, I hate you!", which I sign as "Anonymous Yet Highly Disgruntled (AYHD)").

And I exhibit not only a lot of laughing revelry and scorn sprinkled liberally with cursing, but an episode of Vicious Mogambo Schadenfreude (VMS), usually concludes with some gut-wrenching coughing and trying to catch my breath, some more cursing, and a lot of rude gestures as a final, gratuitous dollop of deserved disdain and disrespect.

Naturally, I had planned something more dramatic in response to all the misery called by "financial innovation", like jumping up on the table, grabbing my crotch and yelling, "You want some financial innovation? I got your financial innovation right here, you thieving morons!"

Tragically, I had to cut that terrific piece of performance art out of my routine since my wife says I can't practice the jumping-on-top-of-table move anymore, unless I go get my own coffee table, because she says I am "ruining" the one in the living room. So I naturally tried to patiently explain it to her. I said, "All the other tables are too high, and when I try to jump on top of them, I bump my head on the ceiling! Are you too stupid to see it? Huh? Is that it? Are you too stupid? Or maybe you can't see it because you are so busy looking for every little fault of mine so that you can criticize me, in everything I say or do, always pick, pick, pick at me until I am sick, and I am talking sick to freaking death here, of it!"

But even after I carefully and calmly explain it to her like that, does she care? No! So to hell with it AND her!

As you can tell, this whole damn thing is, like all drama, emotionally draining. So much so, in fact, that I save it for those who are the most deserving, and there is hardly anyone in America who doesn't deserve to be taken out into the street and slapped silly for being so stupid (audience shouts out, "How stupid, Mogambo?") that they believed in the exquisite fairy tale that combines getting "something-for nothing" with "debts and deficits don't matter", and who allowed the government to get so big because the Federal Reserve was allowed to create more than enough money and credit to finance all the deficit spending! Year after year of monetary inflation, decade after decade! More and more and more money until my throat is raw and bloody from screaming in outrage and fear, and the neighbors are yelling "For God's sake, will somebody please shut that Damned Mogambo Idiot (DMI) up so we can get some sleep around here?"

Insomniac neighbors aside, I figure that the sheer tonnage of new money being dumped into the economic system has got to be too much for simple stock markets, bond markets and housing markets to absorb, and derivatives were born to soak up all this damned money that was being created.

The Guardian.co.uk site uses the headline, "Merrill Seeks More Funds To Avoid Crisis" as the title of the article, with the subhead, "$4.4bn from Singapore's Temasek not enough", which is what I just finished saying, but I am not quoted anywhere in the article, the bastards.

Here is where I really started busting a gut laughing; as OF COURSE $4.4 billion is not enough! The economic system and the players in it have to absorb trillions of dollars of current and future losses! A piddly $4.4 billion? Hahahaha! Talk about your proverbial "drop in the bucket"! Hahaha! Ugh.

The Mogambo Sez: Life is sweet, indeed, for those who hold gold, silver and oil, and life will get sweeter yet, as the Fed and the Congress have not even gotten started cooking up their inevitable monetary and fiscal stupidities to "do something" to save the economy from their previous monetary and fiscal stupidities that have caused gold and commodity prices to get as high as they are.

And thus gold, silver and oil (and indeed all commodities) will make you and me rich without our lifting a finger, or even getting up off of our fat, stupid butts. And if you are even remotely like me, then you think, like I think, as all lazy people think, that this is the absolute best way to make money! And it is! Whee!

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The Mogambo Guru is quoted frequently in Barron's, The Daily Reckoning and other fine publications. Click here to visit the Mogambo archive page.

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